Take for a moment to consider your current or past relationships - do you notice any patterns come up again and again that are less than satisfying?

Do you crave deeper intimacy but can’t seem to figure out how to feel valued and seen?

Maybe you find yourself repeating the same cycles of attracting the same type of partner - either they're narcissistic, or emotionally unavailable and distant, or overly needy - and you're constantly wondering,

“Why does this keep happening to me?”

Most problems in a relationship come from one or both partners having a dysregulated nervous system and a lack of knowledge of how to address it.

Whether there are feelings of fear or restlessness or general discontent within one’s own body, in most cases these feelings are projected outward in familiar patterns that we learned in our households growing up.

That’s right - you likely learned your nervous system model from your parents and family, and until you learn to identify your own personal triggers and deconstruct what hasn’t been working well, you may be caught in a carousel of repeating and reliving that same emotional patterns, experiencing declining health and lack of satisfaction and intimacy in your personal life.

One way I help my clients reach the most fulfilling relationships is to identify their attachment styles. 

Healing these ineffective patterns will help you immensely to break any loops you may be stuck in.

It’s going to take an honest effort and desire on your part to look inward and show up for yourself - but it will be worth it, and you’ll have the rest of your life to thank yourself for showing up for yourself.

So let’s do it. Let’s look into the attachment styles and assess whether these might be key players in the disharmony you have been experiencing in your relationships.

Then we’ll take a look at what actions can be taken to overcome these patterns and come into a place of inner-harmony.

Anxious, Avoidant Or Secure?

Attachment styles are not our fault - they are believed to be developed by the way we were treated by our caretakers when we were a baby, and they can also be influenced by continuing life events over periods of time.

But they are our responsibility as adults to lay claim to and reprogram within ourselves if we are dissatisfied with the results.

Anxious Attachment

If your parents were inconsistently responsive and you didn’t know what to count on, you may have developed a primarily anxious attachment style.

Indicators Of Anxious Attachment Style:

• When in the new stages of a relationship, you find yourself already worrying and wondering if your partner finds you attractive or interesting.
• Your partner who seems to constantly need your reassurance that things are actually going well.
• If someone doesn't respond to you right away, or if they raise their voice at you, your reaction may be to either shut down, become anxious and overthink, or you may lash back out and react with rage in an irrational thought process.

Avoidant Attachment

If your parents were distant and emotionally or physically unavailable, you may have developed a primarily avoidant attachment style.

Indicators Of Avoidant Attachment Style:

• You have a generally healthy sense of self-worth and self-esteem, and yet it doesn’t take long in most relationships before you start to lose interest and feel trapped.
• You feel that your spouse is so disconnected and absent from your relationship.
• Feeling distant, unable to commit and playing the field.

Secure Attachment

If your parents were sensitive and responsive to our needs as a child, you may have developed a primarily secure attachment style.

Indicators Of Secure Attachment Style:

• You feel the emotional and physical connection flowing effortlessly between you and your partner.
• You are confident in your ability to care for yourself, and in your partner’s ability to show up for themselves, and you both seem to enjoy the natural overlap of peace.
• You easily regulate your emotions and engage in effective communication with your partner.

How To Break Through

In order for you to get the outcome of creating a secure relationship, you have to do the work - there are some rules.

You can't expect an overnight quick fix, and you have got to let go of the stories that you don't deserve love.

You have got to take radical responsibility and no more blame games. You must be committed to making these things a practice.

For those that are inspired to move forward and take action, I’m ready to meet you and empower you with five life changing transitions needed to break repetitive patterns and create the relationships you truly want, without years of counselling or couples therapy.

Once you make these transitions, you get clarity, confidence and courage. You're able to heal yourself, your Mojo and confidence comes back, you feel safer in your body, you feel love and you love yourself.

100% of the clients I work with describe how they have improved in their relationships and how they started to make more money.

When your level of deserving goes up, you start to make more money, and the resentment that you used to have towards those people in your life that you once deemed as perpetrators, turns into empathy and love.

It’s yours already - just be ready to show up.